27: How Can a Man Like Me Remain in the Light?
Monday, April 07, 2008

I've been obsessing with the M. Ward song 'Chinese Translation' recently. I know bloggers everywhere are shaking their heads in horror- 'but that song has been out for so long? How could you not have fallen in and out of love with it already? Don't you know that These United States are the new M. Ward? Don't you listen to WOXY?'.
Fuck that. I had it on the iPod, listened to it once or twice and was finally grabbed.

Then again, I'm sitting here in zombie make up in the dark blogging. I really have no leg to stand on. At all.

I went to the Smithfield horse fair on Sunday. It was surreal and voyeuristic. Basically, it's a horse market held the first Sunday of every month in Smithfield, an industrial area of Dublin, right next to the Jameson factory. On this pavilion next to these new apartment buildings you have kids showing off the horses they keep in their back gardens and Pavee and horse traders, all showing off and selling and buying. And then you have people like me, stumbling around with their cameras a snapping and then going home and screwing around on Picasa and posting them on their blogs to tell other people to go and stumble around with their cameras and then post their pictures.




















Right after snapping this last one, I made eye contact with the boy. It was one thing to take a photo of those eyes on someone else taking a photograph of him, and another to have them turned on you. It's my fault for making eye contact with too many people, trying to see into too much. All I could do was make apologetic eyes and put away my camera.




Implicit Associations
I read this in the NY Times today. Immediately I went and took the University of Chicago test mentioned. What frustrated me was that for the first 30 odd images or so, I mixed up the Z and / functions, so I was shooting when I meant to holster. Plus I started over-thinking towards the end and figured out the pattern with the background imagery. Then I started debating my own narcissism while trying to test my racism and probably confused the hell out of my neurons and latent impulses. No wonder my average score was a .615 for an armed black man vs. .665 for an armed white man. I wish the test explained at the end what the averages was, so I could compare myself to the rest of the US/worldish intelligencia out there who saw a test for racism and went 'I'll test that!'. Judging by the results of Mr. Kristoff, I'm not alone in hesitating in shooting white men and holstering for black men.

Nice to know that the researchers interviewed tend to feel that gender is more of a discriminatory factor than race. I am clearly set as a white, American, bleeding-heart, Christian- socialist woman. So set for the nonprofit sector it's not even funny. I'm just like Madonna!

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posted by Courtney at 4:41 PM | 0 comments
26: Learning Languages and Stages
Friday, April 04, 2008



iTunes has free language podcasts?! Why has no one told me about this? There is one devoted to GERMAN GRAMMAR. I could have made a world of a better impression on countless (ok, 4) German professors with that information.

I think that might be the future of my education. I took the bit step today and canceled my tourfilterBoston account, and opened up a tourfilterNYC. I think I'm leaning towards taking the fall off and working up money, and by leaning towards that, I mean I'm anywhere near financially stable and will have to.

I'm fine with it. I've gotten sick of higher education- the sheer bureaucracy of all of it. Maybe I came into university with too high expectations, imagining some place where suddenly all the quirks of my mind and my tangential interests would find a place to be nurtured and encouraged, and getting required maths and program lines just failed to compare.

I suppose I can chalk it up to growing up. While it's not quite " 'One day you will do things for me you will not want to do. That is called being a family.' What she does not understand is that I already do things for her I do not want to do. I listen to her when she talks to me. I resist complaining about my pygmy allowance. And did I mention I do not spleen her nearly so much as I desire to? But I do not do those things because we are a family. I do them because they are common decencies. That is an idiom the hero taught me. I do them because I am not a big fucking asshole. That is another idiom the hero taught me." (if I got the quote wrong, sorry. It was all memory). And it's not quite the old guy putting down his beer and saying, "son. I am going to tell you something the like of which has never been told" either.

What it is getting a better feel for Grace, and grace. Understanding Rose better. It's not freedom. It's nothing like freedom, or even security. It's just sort of an understanding, and it only sounds trite when I explain it.



Budapest photos.

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posted by Courtney at 3:49 AM | 1 comments
25: Ages and Ages
Monday, March 31, 2008
It's been forever since I updated this, and for those of you who read it (erm... no one?) sorry. I will say that yesterday was Daylight Savings in Ireland and I celebrated jumping forward an hour by oversleeping an hour today. Somehow, I still made it to work on time. I think it's a combination of me booking it down O'Connell/Grafton and the fact that the buses worked in my favor. You see, rush hour lasts from 7 am to 10 am, which means that the bus you get on at 9 will either get you from DCU to downtown in T minus 20 minutes, or be an agonizing 45 minutes of hell where you watch yourself run later and later.
Inevitably, someone will be playing music on their cellphone.

This does not mean they will be listening to music on their cellphone. Oh no! This means they will be using their cellphone a la "Say Anything", blasting out shitty music on their shitty cellphone speakers because let's face it, who doesn't want to listen to the same tinny pop music songs over and over?

Not to say I'm bitter. I actually kind of like my commute. It's just enough time for an episode of 'This American Life' or 'Studio 360', or to get in a full album or sometimes a playlist. I'm revisiting some old sonic friends.

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posted by Courtney at 3:46 PM | 0 comments
Oft Updated, Oft Altered
Monday, February 04, 2008
Things To Note About Ireland:

  • 'th' does not exist here. There is only 't'. Occasionally there is a separate 'h', but it is actually several letters-- 'haych'.
  • Cabs from Temple Bar cost more-- walk out of Temple Bar before getting one. In fact, don't go to Temple Bar if you don't want to pay more for everything-- good for a walk through, not good for a pub crawl.
  • Just because the police ('Garda') don't carry guns doesn't mean they won't beat the shit out of you, or use horses.
  • Irish men use the term 'woman' a lot. It's not (usually) insulting.
  • One of my favorite things about Ireland is the use of the phrase "you're (very) welcome", or "you're (very) welcome here".
  • Don't expect maps to be drawn to scale. For the most part, they're not. Ireland's kind of small (roughly the same population as South Carolina, for those of you playing along at home).
  • Palm trees are everywhere. Try not to act surprised-- people bring them home from their trips to Spain or Portugal. If you try to point out that most places with palm trees (Miami, California, Jamacia, Spain, Portugal) all have something in common that Ireland doesn't so much have (sun, warmth), especially considering the fact that Dublin is roughly the same longitude as Moscow (!), the Irish will look at you a bit confused and say something to the tune of "yeah? So?". I assume it's the trade off for the lack of poison ivy.
  • Tipping is pretty much on a case by case basis. With cabbies, round up. With waitresses, stick with 10- 20% unless it's already been taken into account. With bar tenders, your discretion.
  • Farmers Markets are the way to go for produce- look off of Henry Street, or the Temple Bar Market (Saturday, Wednesday from 11-5) (has organic), or take a trip to Howth (Sundays, also with organic stands). For tofu and such, look to Indian/Middle Eastern shops.

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posted by Courtney at 5:41 AM | 0 comments
20: All My Friends, Tonight
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I'm in Dublin. I'm alive, and well. Tonight is the first since Saturday that I haven't had something to drink. I'm hoping the continues to happen, because much as I enjoy having a good time, it's nice sometimes to spend the day sober and go to bed. I'm planning on going out tomorrow though to Crawdaddy, home of ANTICS. Basically.... life looks pretty good for tomorrow night. Even if I have, you know, class. Thursday. Tomorrow.

I need to return to running. I miss it, badly.

I wrote a poem yesterday, and I'm working on one today, but I can't think of how to end it.

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posted by Courtney at 2:20 PM | 0 comments